How a Women’s Empowerment and Process Group Can Help You Grow

A quick note: The phrases “process group” and “interpersonal process group” are used interchangeably throughout this article.

To show you what a women’s process group can offer, let me introduce you to three women who might sound a little like you.

Meet Maya, Sarah, and Sheryl

Maya is a caretaker in her late thirties. She’s the friend everyone turns to, but rarely lets anyone see her own pain. In group, she’s learning how to receive as much as she gives.

Sitting in her car after work, she’s staring at her phone but not quite ready to go home. Lately, something has felt off. She’s surrounded by people all day, yet deeply lonely.

Maya is smart and capable. She keeps things moving. She supports her friends and shows up for her family. But inside, she feels like no one really knows what she’s carrying.

There’s the unspoken grief of an early pregnancy loss she never talks about, not even with her partner. There’s the wish—and the fear of another pregnancy with the possibility of loss.

The growing distance between her and her partner, who also doesn’t know how to talk about it. The pressure of figuring out what comes next in a life that doesn’t feel like it fits anymore.

Some nights, she imagines saying it all out loud—but the thought of being misunderstood keeps her quiet.

Sarah feels invisible. She worries that her needs are “too much,” so she keeps them hidden. In group, she finds out her voice actually matters. People listen.

In her mid-forties, Sarah is raising two energetic children she once longed for with all her heart. 

She used to imagine motherhood as pure joy. But now that she’s living it, she finds herself stretched thin. She’s juggling work deadlines, school pickups, and a partner who often seems to need as much managing as the kids.

At the office, she lets her colleagues interrupt her. At home, she bites her tongue when she feels unappreciated. She tells herself she should be grateful. After all, this is the life she wanted. But in quiet moments, resentment shows up, along with a question she’s not sure she’s ready to answer: What about me?

Sheryl is successful on the outside. But inside, she feels disconnected and unsure. In group, she practices showing up as her real self, without the mask.

She is thriving in her career yet quietly grieving the possibility that at 42, she may never become a mother. 

She’s been in one long-term relationship after another, each ending with promises that didn’t last. Now she wonders whether starting a family is still possible—and if so, whether she can make it happen before her body decides for her.

The question is tangled with old wounds: a fractured relationship with her parents, years of feeling she had to prove her worth, a longing for stability she’s never truly known. On some days, she convinces herself she’s fine without children. On others, the ache is sharp, and she wishes she had somewhere safe to open up.

Though their details differ, all three are navigating a tension between what they show the world and what they hold inside. You may not be Maya, or Sarah, or Sheryl. But you may be living with an unexpressed longing. You may be looking for a way to shift something within.

 You may be seeking more—more depth, more understanding, more connection

The Tension Between What You Show and What You Feel

Maybe it’s your relationship with yourself, your partner, your sister, your best friend, or your parent.

You wish you could speak up about the thoughts and feelings that bubble up inside. You want to be seen and known, but you worry you’re too much or not enough. You fear people won’t understand, and you’ll feel even more alone.

You feel stuck and you want to grow, but you don’t know how. And you wonder: What is the first step toward change?

What Is a Women’s Interpersonal Process Group?

A Woman’s Interpersonal* Process Group could be a doorway to your next step. This isn’t a class or a support group with a set curriculum. A women’s interpersonal process group is a form of group therapy that focuses on relationships: how we relate to ourselves, how we relate to others, and how those dynamics show up in real time.

My group is a Women’s Empowerment and Process Group— an interpersonal process group. In this article, I’ll use “process group” as shorthand. It’s a space where meaningful connection grows through honest conversation and reflection. The group becomes a mirror of your relational world.

Taking risks to share your thoughts and feelings as they arise and receiving in-the-moment feedback highlights patterns and offers the opportunity to practice new ways of being.

Many women come to a process group because they feel isolated, stuck in old patterns, or unsure how to express themselves authentically.

Why Women Like Maya, Sarah, and Sheryl (and Maybe You) Join a Process Group

You may be seeking more—more depth, more understanding, more connection—or something you can’t even put your finger on. You may be tired of pretending everything’s fine. You may want to feel seen and accepted, even when you’re struggling.

In group, you might:

• Say something out loud you’ve never told anyone

• Receive reflection and support from others who understand

• Learn how your words and presence impact people

• Challenge beliefs that say you’re too much or not enough

• Take emotional risks in a space that feels safe

Over time, you might feel more confident speaking up in everyday life. You might set boundaries in draining or difficult relationships. You might realize you’re not broken—just human, and deserving of care.

The Power of a Women-Only Space

In this group, our focus is on what’s happening between us in the moment. While each woman’s experience is shaped by intersecting identities of race, culture, class, sexuality, and life story, being in a women-only space can ease some of the pressures or dynamics that can show up in mixed-gender settings. Sharing space with other women can sometimes make it easier to open up, take risks, and be curious about how we connect. It offers a starting point to explore our similarities, our differences, and the ways we can grow in the here and now.

 You’re not broken—just human, and deserving of care

Is an Interpersonal Process Group Right for You?

This group may be a good fit if you

• Feel disconnected or lonely, even in your relationships 

• Struggle with trust, vulnerability, or expressing your needs

• Long for more authentic and fulfilling connections

• Are moving through a life transition and feeling unmoored

• Want to better understand your patterns in relationships

You don’t need to have a specific issue to join—just a desire to grow and a willingness to show up.

I’m currently accepting members for a new in-person Women’s Empowerment and Process Group in San Diego. This group is designed to support women navigating many of life’s transitions, including:

• Infertility

• Pregnancy or postpartum changes

• Pregnancy or baby loss

• Motherhood

• Involuntary childlessness

• Perimenopause or menopause

• Relationship shifts

  • Or simply the desire for deeper self-awareness and connection

If you’re curious about how a group like this could support you, I’d love to talk. You’ll have a chance to ask questions and explore whether it feels like a good fit.

Click here to learn more or schedule a free consultation.

Personal growth doesn’t have to happen alone. Sometimes the most powerful changes begin by sitting with others, listening, and being heard. If you’re ready to take that step, let’s talk.

6-Week Mind-Body Infertility Support Group Starting

If you've been following along for any length of time, you know that I'm passionate about helping women who are experiencing infertility. I understand how lonely, scary and isolating this path can be.

In addition to the individual infertility counseling I provide to women in my private practice here in San Diego, I facilitate support groups. These groups introduce new coping strategies and offer women a place to share, connect and gain support from other women who are going through the same thing. 

This may not be you, but it's someone you know- your sister, your cousin, your friend. I know because of just how common infertility is that we're talking about someone you know, perhaps someone you care for deeply. Please consider sharing this with her.  

Does this sound like you, or someone you care about?

• "I'm so overwhelmed with the process of trying to have a baby; I never thought it would be this hard".

• "I feel so alone in this process; no one I know has struggled to have a baby"! 

• "I'm not really sure what to do anymore. The anticipation and the waiting/trying to conceive are stressing me out so much".

• "I'm dreading this visit home and having to hear one more person ask me when we're going to have a baby". 

• "I feel so guilty for how I feel when I see pregnant women, or baby announcements; is this normal?"

Maybe you/they haven't actually said these words, but the feelings are there. If it's someone you care about, perhaps you've noticed their withdrawal, their worry and you're concerned about them.

Gaining support from others and developing new coping skills can help: 

• Reduce anxiety, stress and/or overwhelm 

• Lessen feelings of isolation, loneliness or depression

• Improve communication and relationships with important people in your life

My next Infertility Support Group starts on October 9th and is designed for women who are experiencing primary or secondary infertility. Throughout the group we'll explore issues related to infertility, including the impact on identity, self-esteem, sexuality and relationships. Participants have the opportunity to learn and practice relaxation and other mind-body coping skills each week. While we can't change the stressors you experience each day, you can learn to manage your response to allow you to live more comfortably and engage with life more fully. 

You can learn more about the group and schedule an intake through this link. If you have any questions, you can email me or sign up for a free consultation.

You also might find this blog post helpful when considering the benefits of a support group. 

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month: Resources for Connection and Healing

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

In the United States, one in four women experience a miscarriage, and one in 160 experience a stillbirth each year. These number are high, though despite being such a common occurrence the pain is no less. 

Perhaps you have experienced a loss yourself. If not, you surely know someone who has, even if you're not aware of it. Losing a baby can be a lonely and isolating time. Unfortunately, death and loss continue to be very private topics in most circles. For some well-meaning family and friends, they're not sure what to say and how to help (this article might be helpful for them to read). And for others, they're unaware just how long these wounds remain. Time marches on, yet for those who have experienced such a loss, time also stands still.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and this Sunday, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remebrence Day. In solidarity with all the families who know this pain, I offer no advice but resources to help you connect with others on your healing journey, and to honor your lost child(ren) throughout the month. You are not alone. 

San Diego Events and Resources for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Walk to Remember 2017 Empty Cradle"s annual  Walk to Remember will be held on Sunday, October 15, 2017 at Town Center Community Park East in Santee, CA.Side By Side 5K  A 5K benefitting Life Perspectives, a non-profit organization that provides healing resources for men and women worldwide who are experiencing loss through miscarriage or abortion. 

Empty Cradle  A San Diego Based peer support group for parents who have experienced the loss of their baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, infant death, SIDS or SUID. Our goal is to offer bereaved families support via a resource parent network, through monthly meetings, written materials and partnership with the health care community.

Postpartum Health Alliance Lists many more resources, both locally here in San Diego and nationally for families experiencing a loss. 

National Events for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Remembering Our Babies The official site of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day-- October 15th. Please consult for local to you walks and activities. 

Wave of Light  October 15th is the wave of light event. The idea is at 7pm no matter what your time zone is you light a candle in remembrance for our angels, if you keep it burning for at least an hour there will be a continual wave of light across the world all day.

Capture Your Grief  A 31 day photograph challenge. If you have experienced the death of your baby/ies/child/ren, this project is designed just for you! It doesn’t matter whether you are only a week into this walk or you have been walking this road for 20 years, all are welcome to join in.

Pregnancy Loss Journey  A podcast where you can hear from professionals, authors, and organizations in the field, along with personal loss stories. 

If you are in San Diego and could benefit from additional support along your journey, please reach out for help. It would be an honor to walk beside you. And if you are somewhere else in the world and looking for counseling around the loss of a pregnancy or infant, please refer to the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Directory. 

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Please feel free to add any additional local or national events in the comments. If you're mourning the loss of a child and would like to connect with a therapist in the San Diego area, I’m happy to help. Feel free to reach out by phone or email and we can talk about ways you might benefit from counseling. 

Becoming More Mindful: Where to Start?

Photo by Tanushree Khanna on Unsplash

We live in a fast-paced society where it feels like there's rarely (dare I say never) enough time. I know I'm not alone in this feeling; I hear about it daily from friends and family, and of course the clients I counsel in my practice. The overwhelm is folded into the lives of my clients who are struggling to conceive, those grieving, the women who are adjusting to the reality of motherhood, the men who feel a ridiculous amount of pressure to provide and succeed financially. Sometimes the greatest stressors come from within, our attempts to be the best partner/parent/daughter/brother/insert role.

Mindfulness has been a buzz word for the past decade or so and shows no sign of leaving center stage of the $3.7 trillion global wellness market (Reference). And there's good reason-- midnfulness is touted as the antidote for aging, perfectionism, anxiety, depression. The list goes on. But for those unfamiliar with mindfulness, learning what it is and what it isn't, and figuring out how to bring it into your life can cause more of those feelings of overwhelm we're trying to conquer. After all, won't adding something else to your to do list make you even busier?

That feeling of being busy and rushing all the time, there's a choice in that. At least that's what the gurus of mindfulness tell us. With a mindful approach, we get to decide how we interact with the world around us. Mindfulness helps us to slow down and  to pay attention to our thoughts, behaviors and reactions. Mindfulness allows us to respond rather than react.

How to Be More Mindful

So how do we bring mindfulness into our daily lives? Like all things we strive towards, we must develop a mindfulness practice to reap the rewards. We must schedule a time, then stop what we're doing, and sit. Starting with a guided meditation can often be a helpful place to begin for those who have no prior experience with mindfulness. Below is a short 5-minute guided mindfulness exercise. It's one that I introduce to clients in my practice and in my infertility support groups: 5 Senses Mindfulness Exercise. I didn't write it myself, but it's my recording.

I like this exercise because it allows us to recognize the many ways we can be mindful in our own bodies each and every day. By attuning to the senses we can invite ourselves to stay in the present moment when we're eating, resting, gazing, walking, listening-- grounding ourselves wherever we may be, whenever we need it. 
 

The Wandering Mind

Photo by ANDRIK ↟ LANGFIELD ↟ PETRIDES on Unsplash

I like to remind my clients that there's no right and wrong with mindfulness; it's simply about cultivating awareness. Many people incorrectly believe they're "doing it wrong" because their mind wanders. This is normal as our minds are made to think. The practice of mindfulness is to simply guide your attention back to whatever it is you are doing-- breathing, pushing a grocery cart, taking a shower. Yes, each of these activities can be done mindfully. But let's start with sitting.

So find yourself a quiet place to begin. Push the button below when you're ready. You will need to download the link in order to play it on iTunes. I hope this experience allows you to slow down, if even for just 5 minutes

Whether you're a busy parent or longing to be one, mindfulness is an invaluable tool to help cope with the stressors of daily living. If you’re looking for a therapist in the San Diego area, I’m happy to help. Feel free to reach out by phone or email and we can talk about ways you might benefit from counseling.